The title of this entry is a quote from the book I finished no more than an hour ago. Delirium by Lauren Oliver. This book broke my heart and made me believe in love all over again. This book makes you cherish love, because in the society Lena, Hana and Alex live in, love is a disease.

In this book, love is a disease known as amor deleria nervosa. It’s utterly mind blowing how perfect things seem to be at first- no heart ache, no wars, no tears after the procedure that takes away your ability to love anything. Even your children, even the tiniest breath of wind on a spring afternoon. That’s just it. Love is gone. Everyone is just this empty shell, convince he or she is content with this life. As the plot unravels, you see how controlled, how regulated and how utterly horrible our lives would be without love, without anger, without fighting. It’s too perfect. You don’t dream anymore, you don’t feel that fluttering of your heart when your lover’s hand brushes yours ever so briefly.

It’s horrible. Everyone is convinced that love is a disease, that it leads to death every time. The procedure resets your brain and completely rids you of the ability to feel any sort of love. You are paired off with a member of the opposite sex when you’re Evaluated before the procedure. Even if you’re homosexual (it makes me smile when the narrator, Lena, points out that homosexuality is something you are born with) you will be “cured” and the emotion is entirely wiped from your system.

Then there are the Invalids. Those that believe in love and don’t believe in the cure. They live in the Wilds, on the outskirts of town. They don’t have electricity, plumbing and they have to survive in the wild, but they’re content because they still have love.

The main characters are Lena, Hana and Alex. While I predicted a very key event (come on, it's obvious, once you start reading!) but I never could have predicted the completely heart-wrenching ending.

This book rekindled my desire to write something marvelous. I want to leave at least one lonely teenage girl feeling awed and moved by something I wrote. I want to make someone cry at the last words on the last page. I want to leave someone thinking endlessly about the words I slaved endlessly over. I want someone to quote my words on their Tumblrs, Facebooks, Twitters, LiveJournals and whatever else they can think of. At least one person. That’s all I ask for.

It's books like this, books like Harry Potter, Shiver, Before I Fall, House of Night, the Gone Series and all the other phenomenal and mind-blowing books I've read that compel me to write.

Ten students (Nikki, Erica, Jakki, Ariel, Darnell, Ever, Kevin, Chris, Geo and I) from my drama troupe, my mom and our troupe sponsor all went on a trip to Tampa, Florida, to this festival. It's also State level competition for some people. I didn't compete, since I didn't make it, but we did have on competitor. She got a good :/ Which, contrary to popular belief, isn't good

I had a lot of fun. There was NO fighting this year. The past two years, there have been issues with chaperons, hormonal and crabby teenagers and hurt feelings due to low scoring. This year was fantastic.

We all bonded as a family. It was amazing. I found out a LOT about these people, that I never knew before. One night, we had this really deep discussion about the world, about religion, about how much we truly cared about each other. We talked about how, despite any jokes that may be cracked on each other, we'll always stick up for each other. We played Truth or Kiss. Basically, you get asked a question and if you don't want to answer, you kiss the asker. I have never laughed so hard in my life omg. We became a family, really. During school, we don't really have that bonding. It was mind-blowing, how we bonded over these five days.

We also played this game called Silent Assassin. My mom and our sponsor picked a person to be the murderer. They had to secretly kill as many people in our little group without getting caught. People were allowed to guess, but if they guessed wrong, they died.
I was shot, I was killed with acid spit, I had my neck snapped. I bit people, snapped necks and slit throats and I killed Chris with mutant lice that ate his brain. It was hilarious. I was the killer twice.

Saturday, there was a dance at the Performing Arts Center. We call it the Gay Prom, because it's completely full of gays, lesbians, etc. I was taught how to dance lol.

Overall, it was an amazing time.

Today was just... amazing. Phenomenal. Perfect.

I woke up, watched Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was the episode where Katara fights Master Paku and convinces him to teach her Waterbending. I watched my mom and step dad hang up a new fan. Then my sister, her fiance, and I went out. Betsy (my sister) and I went to get our hair cut. My hair is superduper short now. Think Emma Watson, but just a smidge longer. I also told my sister I was a lesbian. She's okay with it. Anyways, we got home and my brother was there for a visit. We all went out to Red Lobster. 

It was such an amazing day asdfghjkl; <3

Here's a picture of my short hair :D

I have two passions in life. Writing and acting. Both of these art forms have molded me into the person I am today. However, that's not what I want to do in life. I always thought I wanted to go to a theatre school and write a book on the side. This was my plan for some time. Then I started looking into things dealing with forensics. Criminology and psychology, specifically. After a while, the fire I felt for the latter died away, but the flames burning for acting and writing remained. I'm sticking with criminology and psychology, simply because it's something I was interested in once before.

People always say to love what you do. Work should be something you're passionate about, just like the time before Industrialization, when people worked because they wanted to and because they were good at what they did, not for a paycheck (LOOK, MRS. FARWELL, I DO READ THE AP U.S. HISTORY BOOK!). Then there's always the threat of what you love not paying enough.

My one true goal in life is to become something for my mom to be proud of. I've always been the one kid keeping her sane. My older brother is just piecing his life back together, my older sister is a total screw up. I'm the only one with promise. I am going to college, to make something of myself. I hate to admit it, but careers in acting are hard to come by. It's not a great way to live, until I get lucky. Writing is the same. I have to be able to finish a story, before I can even think about publishing. I am aiming to publish a book, sometime in my life. I want to write a series that people will love and adore. I've been working on different stories since freshman year. I always get these amazing ideas, but I can never follow through. My main problem is that I come up with a beginning and an end, but I have no idea how to connect the two. I start forming random scenes in my head and place them randomly in between the beginning and the end. Still, I have no idea to connect them. Then school attacks and I lose my muse for the story. I end up completely scratching the idea.

Le sigh. I have no idea what to do with my life. Curse being an indecisive teenager!

Here's a little bit about me, before I start blogging.

- My name is Brenna, pronounced Breh-nuh.
- I am seventeen years old.
- I am a lesbian.
- I am obsessed with Harry Potter.
- I love reading, in general.
- I am addicted to Tumblr.
- I will be cutting my hair as short as Emma Watson in the near future.
- I want to get my tongue pierced.
- I have a belly button piercing.
- I am writing a book.

That's just some random stuff about me :)